The Pivot Year: 2024 wrapped

every morning (for perhaps >280 days out of the 366 in 2024), i outsourced my brain and pasted a quote into my morning planning (ft. notion and my coffee) because i liked Brianna Wiest’s collection of thoughts in her other book, 101 essays. in many ways, 2024 was a pivot year. but so is every year. growth is not linear, and if you define a said year to be a pivot year, then it must be. just like how you can point to any point and say that, right there, is the centre of the universe.

i thought that the book’s quotes were too nebulous. i do like the ritual of reading one a day though, and thinking about its pertinence or just framing it as a pretty serif quote against the moving backdrop of my days.

i think you don’t always have to rebuild yourself. in many ways, growth comes from appreciation of what you have. however, i do think i made the most of what i had this year and said yes and branched out and took risks. i wrote this below on dec 31, 2023, forecasting the coming year, even before i had an inkling of some big decisions i would make for myself, or felt secure enough to be able to take some risks comfortably. but the floor rose up to meet me before i even knew where to strike.

• prompt: How do you want to feel in 2024?
  i want to feel like i’ve risked everything and done everything. not that i need to be so loud, but i want to just say what’s on my mind, without attaching my worth to outside circumstances, and know that if it’s precious or substantial it will speak for itself and shine.
  
  i want to feel like i’m trying to make the most out of my career, and that i’ve lived life to the fullest, and that i’m not scared of failure, i’m not scared of rejection, but i’m scared of being complacent. i want to grow in ways i haven’t before in this year, not necessarily through something people can witness, but through infinite patience with myself.

i personally don’t ascribe to vision boards— fun & colourful, but i don’t believe growth can ever look one way or can be confirmed in pictures (such as when someone ‘fulfills’ their vision board, i.e. copying a picture, because much growth is A) not visual, B) is not external, and C) cannot be captured, even if it is visual, and the capture negates the meaning of being present in pursuing that goal). and the concept of a never-ending of pursuit to create a frenzy of novel-looking images is inherently consumerist). i believe that growth is always measured in self-awareness, in grounded intuition, and knowing when and how to recalibrate that internal compass of intuition. in 2024, i took some of my biggest risks. but i also did in 2023, and 2022, and 2019, and 2018. back to any point being the centre of the universe.

i think that even without solidly knowing it, i learned to trust — trust myself, trust other people, and really, trust that the floor does not only hold me up when i’m static in space, but with every step i take, no matter where i go, it rises to meet me, as it always has, and it always will. part of it is always holding gratitude and adapting, and part of it is altering, building, creating. same with confronting some of our biggest challenges, like climate change — a necessary dual challenge of seeking ways to both mitigate and adapt (with a lot of hope). the floor may not always rise to meet me, but i am grateful for the floors that i’m able to stand on.

i also love sending these quotes. just to have a moment of a meditation as a blip of a palette cleanser in the day that is perhaps somewhat affirming or encouraging.

written in flight from yyz to yvr on jan 1, 2025.